


Brother, I'll Follow You

by Impalapossible



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Major character death - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7164854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impalapossible/pseuds/Impalapossible
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does death mean for Dean? What will the final loss of Sam do to him? Was he destined for hell, or maybe something more hopeful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brother, I'll Follow You

Dean sat in the impala, fighting back the tears that threatened to come. His clothing was stained with a combination of blood and dirt from the grave he had carved out for the only person he knew he truly loved. His baby brother Sam. 

He didn’t have the heart to burn the body. He had already watched his mother be consumed with fire, friends and loved ones given a fallen hunters burial. But his baby brother deserved a better than the pyre. He needed a home, a place where he could finally rest. 

Dean carefully placed his brothers body in the back seat of the impala, covering him in a blanket. He drove as far into the wilderness as his composure allowed him before finding the perfect spot.

He dug for hours into the frozen ground. He never stopped to take a break. He knew if he did that he wouldn’t be able to finish. The hole needed to be perfect. It had to be perfect….for Sam.

Memories flashed across his mind as he dug. The good times, the bad times, and the worst times.They’d fought through heaven and hell together, taking down demons and angels and everything else that would have destroyed weaker men. For years, they kept one another alive. Dean always made sure to keep an eye on Sam. Ever since he had pulled his baby brother out of their burning home on the night their mother died, he’d been responsible for Sam. He would do anything for his little brother. Sam was home to Dean the only thing that made sense in their crazy world. 

And now Dean’s world was maddeningly, desperately quiet. He failed to do the one what he promised to do all those years ago. Protect Sam. And unlike every other time where Dean could save him, could give more of himself to protect him, it was over. Neither a deal with the devil nor any pleading with the reaper would bring him back. Not this time. Now it was only Dean. The last Winchester. 

He gently placed his brother into the grave, blanketing him in earth. After putting the first stones down, Dean crashed to his knees, sobs shaking his frame. “Sam…” 

Years passed by, Dean continued to hunt, it was all he had ever known and all he could do. However, this time he made sure to not get close to anyone else. He didn’t let himself get attached to anyone. Everyone he loved died because of him, and he didn’t have the durability to bury anyone else. 

He made sure to push everyone out of his life that he’d loved. It was the only way to protect them. No one survived if they were near him. Even Castiel was not immune to his alienation of the world. Castiel promised Dean he would watch over him regardless of if Dean wanted it or not, and it took everything Dean had to threaten him to leave him alone and never come back. Not until it was his time to go. Dean felt he needed to suffer for letting his brother die. And he made sure to remain in the agony as penance for his mistakes. He didn’t deserve to be alive. Sam did, but not him. 

His nights were filled with drinking, a vain attempt to detach himself from existence, but it never helped. The alcohol just made everything worse. It sunk him deeper into depression and often, he found himself drinking heavily in order to sleep.

But even in sleep he couldn’t escape the horror of his mistakes. Every dream was of Sam. The image of the blade ripping through Sam’s flesh. Sam, through heavy breathes, begging him to keep going. To find happiness. His final words, reminding Dean that he had chosen to follow him. He would always follow him. “I love you, Dean.” 

Dean visited Sam’s grave often, finding it the only place where he found any sense of peace. Flowers had sprung up from the dirt around it. Every so often Dean found notes to Sam from Castiel or Garth, which he carefully placed in a box that Sam had kept in the car. He never read them, didn’t want to read them. They were for Sam, and he wanted to keep them safe for him even if he would never get to read them. 

He told Sam about what he had been doing. All the hunts he’d gone on, and the people he’d helped. He told him how none of it made him feel better, but that he didn’t know what else to do. 

“It should have been me, Sam. You were too good, too pure. And who am I? The arrogant, cocky bastard who never had a chance at a normal life. But you did, Sammy. You could have really been somebody. It’s my fault you didn’t. I should have let you go to college, become some jackoff lawyer with a bunch of kids and a beautiful wife. It is my fault you came back into this life Sam. And it is my fault you are gone. I hope they let you into heaven, and I hope you get to be with Mom and Jess and everyone else we lost. I don’t think I’ll make it up there though. I am too damaged for heaven to let me in. I don’t deserve to see you again after what I did.” 

As Dean got older, frailer, he spent more and more time in the bunker. He shut out the world, hiding himself away where not even the sun could warm his tired face. 

One morning, after many many more years, a knock came at the bunker door. Dean, cane in hand, slowly climbed the winding staircase, and opened the door. His silver hair glistened in the sunlight. Standing before him was the same face he’d pushed out of his life all those years ago, coming back to fulfill his final promise. “Cas?”

“Dean. It’s almost your time. I’ve been watching you all these years. I know you aren’t long for this world, I can feel it and a reaper confirmed it to me after I pleaded with them to tell me so I….so I could do one last thing for you Dean. Let’s go home. Let’s go see Sam one last time.”

Dean paused for a moment, the weariness of age and remorse encompassing his features, then nodded. He could feel his body giving out and the shadow of death around him. And if it was true that it was near, he had to make sure to check in on his little brother one last time. He gathered himself into the impala he’d maintained all these years, and handed Castiel the keys. 

Castiel steadied Dean as they made the slow walk towards Sam’s final resting place. He helped Dean to his knees and backed away slowly, allow Dean to talk to Sam alone.

“Sam, looks like it’s my turn. Who would have guessed that I was going to live this long. I….I’ve wanted to die Sam, but it just didn’t happen. I’ve been suffering all this time with the guilt of losing you.I miss you brother. You told me you would follow me anywhere, and you ended up here.” He chocked back his sobs. 

“ I want you to know Sam, I’ve never stopped missing you all these years. I’ve never stopped protecting you. But now, Castiel is going to take care of you. Don’t wait up for me. I know where I am going. And I know it isn’t heaven. I haven’t earned the right to enter there. We won’t see one another again, but I hope that in some way my death will make up for yours. Tell everyone goodbye for me. I…I..I love you Sammy.”

Castiel helped Dean to his feet and embraced him. “Goodbye, Dean.”

“Goodbye, Cas.”

As Dean took his final breath, his soul escaped his body. He waited for the pain to come, the torture of a damned soul. He clenched his eyes shut, wanting a brief moment of escape before acknowledging his fate. 

But the pain never came. The screams of tortured souls didn’t ring in his ears. Instead, he felt warm. He felt at peace. Perhaps this was hell’s new torture. To give someone false hope, before casting them down into the pit. 

“Dean?” 

That voice. He knew that voice. It was the voice that had haunted him all these years. One he was sure he would never hear again. 

“Sam?” He whispered, too afraid to believe it was true. 

“Dean!” He heard loud steps rushing towards him. “Dean, open your eyes!” 

Cautiously, Dean did as the voice asked of him. It was so bright around him that it took his eyes a few moments to adjust to it. Slowly, a figure began to form in front of him. Dean wept. Standing in front of him was the man who had been absent from his senses for far too long. He quickly wrapped the taller man into his arms. Both Sam and Dean said nothing, relishing in the moment of reunion letting their sobs speak for them. 

After a few moments, Dean let go, a smile crossing his lips for the first time in forever. “Sammy. Is this real? Are you really here?”

Sam smiled back. “Of course I am here. Where else would I be?”

“But I don’t understand why I am here. I belong in hell Sam. I let you die. I failed you.”

“Dean, you were always too hard on yourself. It wasn’t your fault what happened to me. That is the job. Hunters kill and get killed. You did your best, you always did, to protect me and everyone. You’ve done nothing bad enough to balance all the good you’ve done.”

Dean cast his eyes downward. “Sam, it should have been me. I should have been the on-”

“Dean, stop. It doesn’t matter now. We are here, in heaven, together. What happened in our mortal lives, that is in the past. Come on. Let’s go see everyone. They’ve been waiting a long time for you to get here too. Come on, jerk.”

Dean nodded and as the two walked off together, Dean punched Sam in the arm. “Bitch.”


End file.
